On painting daily…

Posted on January 30, 2015

I paint or draw everyday, as I would drink coffee when I wake up. There are few days I miss, and when I do – I am contemplating color, form, shape, and my work ethic. I do this religiously, and find hope and ‘God’ (for lack of a better term) when I create. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter. There are times when I paint and hate it – hate the color I choose – feel I am not thinking, too heavy headed or achy – not centered. I still trod on, like the lion – toward the unknown food source. I need to eat even when I am sick. I need to paint or draw even when I don’t want to.

For me it is not an issue. This is my life and how I manage to balance it. If I do not drink my coffee – I am off. If I do not paint, I am off. I know the outcome, and see it clear – but fall short of the mark every time I try. Each day I get up and try again. I do not let my lack of sight deter me – and I continually love my muse, if not myself.

The balance of being a full time artist is determined by how much energy I put on spirit, earth and craft. I love what I do but do not always love to do it. I am lazy at times and find myself longing for smaller goals, tiny pursuits – video game mentality. This helps temper the lofty idealism that taints my productivity. When I look at Zorn or Levitan or Rembrandt, I feel I can do that too. Why? Because I am trying. I am failing and then I succeed.

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